Often, we hold back our emotions. It makes sense if we were brought up to think it was crucial to hide our anger or sadness or that having negative feelings was wrong. These emotions can be unpopular and often make those around us uncomfortable if they can’t “fix it.” We may even hide positive feelings such as desire, love and intimacy if we are afraid of what people might think if we are vulnerable.
The result of all of this is “emotional constipation.” We have a build-up of emotional content in our system that needs an outlet. Often, when this happens, we will look for ways to relieve the pain and stress with something that brings temporary comfort. Keeping those thoughts and emotions is a true physiological stressor. Our feelings will eventually demand our attention – and if they don’t get it – we may find ourselves acting out with addictive behaviors, comforting ourselves with food, self-soothing with drugs or alcohol, looking for ways to control, and other forms of resolution.
Feel your feelings. Be honest about them. Find a safe person who is willing to listen. The result will be a better emotional metabolism and a much better version of yourself (a truer one).